


intertwined

by trillnaturalist



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Character Study, Found Family, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, [goes feral], accurate ecology, again the author just. likes mycology and uses this to talk abt it., what do i write that isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 15:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30024027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trillnaturalist/pseuds/trillnaturalist
Summary: reflections on the end of season 3
Relationships: Hugh Culber & Paul Stamets & Adira Tal, Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets, Michael Burnham & Paul Stamets
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	intertwined

Since they had arrived in the future, the Stamets-Culber household had taken on a more home-y look. After Hugh’s return, their quarters had been a little closed off -- even after he moved back in, the white and dark blue uniforms were clearly separated in the closet, the walls still decorated like an out-of-the-box Starfleet couple’s suite. 

It took them a while to get settled back together, but now the two had reached a sweet harmony. The white stripes and blue of their new uniforms were tossed together in a rhythm of randomness, a comfort with everything about each other. On their walls hung pictures of both of their families back on earth, centuries dead and separated by millions of miles, but still a reminder of who they were here -- when -- for. 

There was a small photo of their new family nestled in the corner of their bathroom mirror. The senior officers -- and Book and Adira dragged into the snapshot by Michael and Paul respectively -- were crowded together on the bridge, everyone smiling in new pressed uniforms as they crowded around Michael, leaning forwards in her captain’s chair. Stamets and Culber hadn’t known everyone well before their jump into the future -- Stamets was friends with Michael when she first came aboard  _ Discovery,  _ working together in engineering, and Culber got assigned a few of the bridge crew in his medical roster, but neither of them would say they were close to anyone in the picture other than Burnham and Pollard before their jump into the future. The experience of having their world thrown on its head though brought the whole crew together, even subconsciously. 

In the photo, Adira’s hand was clasped in a weird way to their left. To someone who didn’t know them, it would look like they had injured their arm, but those important to the teen knew they were holding Gray’s hand. 

Staring in the mirror for a second -- pointedly  _ not  _ at the photo -- Paul put down his toothbrush in the cup on the counter and sighed. It had been a long day, but this conversation had been hanging between the two ever since they got back from the nebula, never quite finished and taunting with soft ideas of the future. 

He spoke to Hugh, but was looking at his hands, “There’s this old study. From old earth, I guess it’s even more ancient now. The mycelium of a wood-rotting fungus -- one you can find on peach trees, one that feeds of the long-fruiting sweet scent of these rooted plants -- was placed on a block of wood. The hyphae threads spread out in the petri dish in all directions. Hyphae grows _ incredibly  _ fast, and with  _ force _ . They can break through newly laid-out asphalt overnight.” -- Paul waved his hand, realizing Hugh wasn’t following -- “An old human building material, terrible for the environment, really. Point is, hyphae is eager, spreading itself out as fast and powerful as possible. When the experimenter placed another block of wood near the mycelium, this fuzzy white circle of growth quickly formed a decisive movement: only a small part of the network touched the new piece of wood, but it identified it as a food source, and the entire organism became aware of it and their behaviour changed. Instead of exploring for potential nutrients in all directions, the mycelium withdrew hyphae threads and instead strengthened the connection with the new block of wood. A few days later, the mycelium was structured as a bridge between the two food sources.

“I’ve never been great at human connections. It’s been hard for me to make friends, and sometimes harder to keep them. Being flung onto this new ship during the war, having my research used for military attacks, losing Straal and then you, then being thrown into the future… it was hard to maintain relationships with people with the world around me changing so fast. I always thought of human connections in this way: when I put effort into one relationship, they hyphae connecting us strengthen, and in return, my connections with others become weaker. The threads of hyphae connecting me to others don’t move as fast as actual mycelium, though -- I’m kind of an acquired taste, and it takes so much work to actually strengthen these connections I care about.”

Patiently listening, Hugh put an arm around his husband’s waist, and Paul leaned into him before continuing, voice shaky, “When… when Michael sent me away from the ship, I was so afraid. I was so afraid that all this work I had put into strengthening my relationships would be ripped away, that I’d be back at square one. A year ago, in those months without you, I got a taste of what that would be like and… I was lost. I was just terribly afraid of experiencing that again, and the worst part was that she  _ wasn’t wrong.  _ I did need to get off the ship, but I never was going to see that. 

“I… now I feel that I gave up my friendship with Michael -- the hyphae are retreating and strengthening somewhere else -- just so I wouldn’t lose you two. 

“That experiment was repeated again, but before the new mycelial structure could be formed between the new block of wood, the old block was removed and the mycelium attached stripped and placed in a new dish. From there, the hyphae immediately started to branch out in the direction where the new block of wood used to be. It had memory, reaching out where it used to have a food source, even though the new block wasn’t there anymore. I- I feel like I’m reaching out in a direction and there isn’t even a food source there, like I don’t even necessarily know what I’m doing anymore. With Tilly off commanding the bridge with Michael, Adira is really the only one I have at work, and I don’t…”

“Do you know what the last thing Michael said to her brother before she took the Red Angel suit into this century?” Hugh broke in as Paul trailed off, and, as the other man shook his head, he continued, “She told me when we were getting patched up together from the radiation in the nebula. Said you probably should hear it but might not listen if it was her saying it, which -- that’s fair. She told Spock to find the person who seems farthest from him, reach for them, and let them guide him. I know you. You make assumptions about other people’s intentions if you haven’t talked and it hurts you in the end. When we first met at the academy, what did you tell me about how fungi are interconnected?”

Looking up at Hugh now, their hands together, Paul mumbled in response, “They’re intertwined -- mycorrhizal fungi are really hard to detangle from their partner species because their functions are so intertwined.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how I ended up married to such a nerd. Humans are meant to be intertwined too. Reach back out to Michael. If you need it, I’ll be with you. But trust me, she’ll be there.”

He reached up to Paul’s shoulder, kissing him as they walked out of the bathroom together. 

“Did you see Adira in the mess hall today?” Hugh asked. He had changed into pyjama pants the moment he came to their room, but spoke as he threw on his burgundy sleep shirt in return for a lightly creased uniform he gingerly placed back on the hangar. “They were hanging out with some of the other ensigns from engineering, seemed like they were really getting along with the older officers.”

“That’s good,” Paul said from the bed, leaning propped up against the pillow. 

Hugh came over to sit next to Paul, “I was worried for them. I mean, they have Gray, and I know how important he is to them, but they don’t really have any other friends close to their age. Although I’m not sure if that’s sixteen or a couple hundred.”

“They’re the first human to successfully join with a symbiote… that has to be lonely. Even if they  _ do _ have six other trills in their head -- maybe  _ because  _ of that,” Paul nodded, his voice wistful. 

“You could use a bit of your own advice there.”

Paul pushed Hugh lightly, but both of their faces fell serious as he continued, “I really feel for them, though. They’ve lost so much and I just want the  _ Discovery  _ to be safe and friendly for them. They’re a genius in engineering -- really, I should show you the program they wrote for the matter reclamation systems, I don’t even know how they figure some of this stuff out -- but I don’t want them to feel like this place is just a job, but that the crew is really there for them. I - I don’t know. I never thought we’d have a kid, less one that I really don’t know how to help sometimes.”

“Hey, hey,” Hugh’s hand traced Paul’s shoulders softly. “We didn’t have half of the things they do figured out when we were their age. Their life has been so in flux recently; they’ll find their place here, just give them some time. And I think Adira knows how much you care. They’re so lucky to have you. If I were in their place, I would find it hard to really relate to anyone, and they’ve told me how lost they feel pretty lost without Gray, in a new world with the symbiote’s influence. I remember going through a lot of the same things when I was growing up and, well, coming back to life. It took a while to really be comfortable with myself, and I  _ know  _ I would’ve appreciated someone taking me under their wing the way you have adopted them when I was their age.”

“They talked to you about that?”

“Yea, I set them up to vidcalling a trill therapist for some of their concerns with the symbiote, but they seem to prefer coming to me sometimes. I told them that I really only took the required mental health coursework at the Academy, but I still find them coming into sickbay under the guise of checking up on our work to make Gray visible to ask for a hug,” as they spoke, Hugh’s eyes were unfocused, remembering the sweet glimpses of a life that had somehow unfolded in the exact way he needed it to. 

Paul’s face softened, smiling. “How is the project with Gray going? I feel like I’ve spent hours with the kid -- which, in a way, I guess I have -- but I can’t wait to really meet him, not talk to him through Adira. I just know how much he means to them, and I really wish I could help more with giving him a real body again.”

“You’re almost as bad as Michael,” Hugh sighed. Seeing the slight closing of Paul’s eyes, he shook his head. His husband wore his emotions on his sleeve, but Hugh had gotten pretty good at reading the small changes emotion on his face as well. “Sorry, probably not the best comparison. But really, stop trying to stretch yourself too thin. You’re already helping, just by being there for Adira.

“As far as Gray… we’re still working on it. Tracy suggested hijacking the holomatrix system the admiral installed for some sort of visual, and we’re going to test that theory tomorrow.”

Paul leaned in to kiss Hugh, “I know you’ll figure something out. Trust me, getting someone back from the dead isn’t easy work, but I know how much you care for them. If anyone can do it, you’ll find a way.”

He would find a way. It might take a while, a series of trial and error, but he would. Paul and Hugh had a strong connection with the teens, their lives intertwined like the symbiotic threads of established tree roots exchanging nutrients with a web of newly exploring mycellium. Hugh had only met Gray once, but he didn’t want the kid to go through what he had after death. 

After a pause, the two lulling into a honey-tinted melody, Paul reached over to the vox next to the bed, “Are you okay if I turn off the lights?”

“Only if you promise not to not hog the covers tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact i can write other things if theyre adiray adjacent!   
> give kudos so that i can plant butt nutt squash despite college crimes


End file.
